While judging the legitimacy of presidents by how they stand on 'issues' is an okay approach to deciding your vote, nothing beats the thrill of superficially criticizing our candidates by the homes they live in. While Romney has far more homes than Obama, and they are all verifiable mansions, Obama is no Homeless Hank. He is more of a Middle Class Melvin.
Luscious La Jolla Abode - $12 Million
Romney's beach home is in one of the ritziest neighborhoods in the country - San Diego's La Jolla community. The money-bags town has many other famous 'Red' residents including the former Dr. Seuss. The family purchased the home in 2008 and has obtained permits to knock the existing structure to the ground and build a massive two-story mansion in its place.
Beautiful Belmont, MA Home - $895,000
This is the first home Romney ever purchased in Massachusetts, making it the first step on his quest to achieve the standard. east-coast 'American Dream.' The 2,100 square foot home is located in the elite Woodlands district, so the Romneys' many children never had to mingle with those dirty-faced 'non-mansion' dwelling youths. Amen.
Wowzer Wolfeboro, NH Wonderland Estate - $3 Million in 1997
This 11-acre lake front mansion property sits on the sassy shores of Lake Winnipesuakee (what an ostentatiously complicated lake name!) in the adorable nature town of Wolfeboro. The 5,400 square foot home also includes guest houses for Romney's large extended family to crash in after a long afternoon of fruit punch drinking and bean bag tossing. Oh the fun!
Barack Obama's Chicago Abode- $1.65 Million in 2005
Many people wonder how Obama could afford a $1.65 Million home, when all he ever did for a living before becoming president was work as a 'community worker' and 'poor-person advocate.' Oh ye idiots of little faith. Did we forget Obama was also a fancy shmancy senator before governing over our bountiful country? Senators make some green, and Obama spent his on this 6,199 square foot home built in 1917 which includes four fire places to fight the Chicago chill. However, this is his only home, before this elite pile of bricks the Obamas lived in a humble condo.
Eew! That is so...average.
Neither of the candidates is living in Craigslist-found squalor like the rest of America. So at the polls, flip a coin (if you have one in this economy) and just choose from two ritzy rich fellas with a penchant for stylish homes.